Today's Sermon--Alton Brown

I intend to make each Sunday "Sermon Sunday," with preaching (of a sort) on a favorite subject of mine. I missed this Sunday by a hour or so, but I wanted to start the tradition nonetheless. The title of this Sunday's Sermon is...."On Alton Brown--My Hero."

I've always loved cooking shows. Not just because I love food (probably too much), or because I love cooking (although not enough to do it for myself as much as I should), but because they made the cryptic and inscrutable--the alchemy which is cooking--understandable and, well, scrutable. Half of cooking is technique--"how do I make that?" as opposed to "what is in that?"--and great cooking shows make it all look easy. (Of course, what looks easy on the screen may not be easy in the kitchen, but more on that later.) They also tend to revolve around personalities: I know that Julia herself, with all her jollity and can-do-itiveness, was a big attraction to me (and to Dan Ayckroyd, to judge by his affectionate satire.) Sometimes even more so than the food.

When Food Network came on the air, I fell first for Emeril, and I'm sure personality was the culprit (although most of the recipes I've cooked up have been excellent!) Emeril is big, engaging, funny--and incredibly repetitive after the first ten kajillion times you have heard him bam or exclaim about pork fat. (Hey, I love it too, but come on!) Then Rachael Ray caught my eye, mainly because she is cute. Her schtick became even more annoying twice as quickly, however. (Concerning her travel shows--Does she love everything she puts in her mouth? {insert dirty joke here}) I despaired of finding a guru of the same level of dear, departed Julia.

Then, one day, I saw Good Eats for the first time.

What do I love about Alton? Let me count the ways.....

• he makes things scrutable, but with science! Seriously, I like to know not only about the technique called for in preparing a particular dish, but why is that technique is called for, what does it do? Or, why those ingredients (in that order?) With Alton, I get the whys and wherefores. He talks about why foods behave certain ways, chemically, and I feel like this helps me understand and perform the techniques he is teaching more effectively. His books do the same thing. I like knowing why I'm doing something a particular way--he tells me.
  
• he is funny, in a genuine way. I'm not just talking about the jokes on the show, but his whole demeanor. On his newest show, Feasting on Asphalt (now sadly at an end after only four episodes), he takes a spill on his motorcycle. As he lay there in the road, in pain from a broken clavicle, he made a joke about his motorcycle mirror.
  
• he seems like a guy you (okay, I) would want to pal around with. Watching his "Making of" special, it looked like his employees like working with him, that he is good to them. He seems like a guy you could have a great conversation with on a bunch of topics--and he could keep up with any turn in the flow that might occur.
• I keep thinking of more friends who would love his show if they had cable or watched cooking shows. I don't know if this says more about Alton or about the friends I choose (or who choose me), but--I know they would love it!

In any event, such is my paean to Alton Brown, my new food guru. Moral--you should be watching him!

Further, deponent sayeth not--go forth and sin no more.