My Life--The Early Years

By the time you read this, it will be October 27th--my birthday. Yes, 39 years ago, I was brought into this world. Given that this is a blog and all, I thought that I would present for posterity the record of my tumultuous life so far, accompanied by pictiographic evidence, so none may doubt the veracity of my tale. Today, I'll cover the early years of my life (the late 60s and the 70s)--Saturday and Sunday will see my Middle (80s and early 90s) and Late (mid 90s to the present) years exposed for your edification. Please be warned that every word you are about to read is the unvarnished truth, as troubling as that may be for you to believe.

The Early Years: Prodigy and Peril

October 27th, 1967. In a small hospital in Chicago, I am born.
While I may look innocent enough, these are actually the eyes of a cold-blooded killer. Within mere hours of my birth, I kill two innocent wildfowl who somehow wandered into the pediatric unit. These birds were brought home from the hospital with me--my first trophies.
Slaughtering confused game birds, however, was not to be my calling. Filled with world-weary ennui,
I soon (once I could walk, that is) embarked on a wild cross-country adventure, taking jobs wherever I could find them. I worked as a farmer,
a fisherman,
lifeguard,
dairyman,
big game hunter,
merchant marine,
crusading superhero,

and pro caddy.
This picaresque adventure, however, came to a crashing halt when I was informed that I could not be a cowboy.
Angry at the world, I lashed out at authority, eventually landing in prison.
While I was living and loving my way across America, however, my parents brought my sister Claudine into the world. The instant I broke out of the joint, I made my way back to Chicago to see her. I found a kindred spirit.


Family had brought me home--I decided to quell the wanderlust in my soul and stay put for a while. I soon found that a new career awaited me: fashion icon.






While I lived the jet-set life, winging from New York to Milan and back again, my folks were hard at work. My brother, Ken, was born in 1972. Again, I found a kindred spirit.
The three T. children proved to be a unstoppable force, storming the pop music world with a string of number one hits.
We also found time to pursue our other hobbies.
In short, while the late 60s and 70s were a tumultuous time for me, I moved through them with the aplomb and respect for others that have defined my character to this day.
Through it all, I never forgot my friends.
Stay tuned!